Amazing Naruto Fanfiction Cliches
by The Winds of Change
Summary: Kishimoto is a bad writer so a band of twelve year old aspiring writers hope to make it better. How are they going to do it? By giving Naruto a 12 inch dick and fuck every kunoichi except Sakura. or By giving him an awesome bloodline since that fits his character better. Well, here are some of the greatest ideas that came from the greatest minds of the Naruto fanfiction community
1. Amazing Changes

Retarded Naruto Fanfiction Cliches

After beating Mizuki with a barrage of clones, Naruto immediately realized he loathes the color orange and Sakura, who he now calls the banshee whore. How cool and original! Yep, that's something we've yet to see in 5000 different fics.

He is now wearing something that he purchased from a shop that is owned by Tenten's dad, which is kind of fishy since Tenten is an orphan but whatever. Hirugashi Weapons Shop for the WIN!

His new outfit would take 10 paragraphs to properly describe as it reeks of pure awesomeness and badassery. Also, he is now apparently heads over heels for Hinata after realizing her feelings. That escalated quickly. But in all seriousness, Naruto now loves Hinata after years of basically chasing after Sakura since it's apparently one big act.

Oh! And did I forget that Naruto now has something called the KamiShaRinnegan? Which of course, was a gift by the Kyuubi since it is guilt-ridden by the pain he caused Naruto. How kind of him!

As Naruto entered his classroom, all eyes were glued to the extremely awesome attire worn by the now cold and calculating Naruto- let's forget he is loud and obnoxious, it's just a figment of your imagination.

Ino stared at her fellow blond to what seemed like hours, drool coming out from her mouth.

"Wow Naruto is so cool now." Ino said as she slowly rubbed her nipples.

"YEAH!" Everyone agreed, except for Sasuke as his character somehow only revolves around brooding and revenge. Anyways, Naruto was just that cool.

Naruto walked past most his classmates, only stopping when he and Hinata came face to face.

"Hinata-chan." Naruto said as he stared at his lavender eyed Goddess.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yes N-n-n-n-naruto-k-k-kun?" Hinata stuttered for a long time since she is the shyest person- fictional or real- to ever exist and as such, need to stutter for 2 hours.

"I love you." Naruto said as he proceeded to kiss Hinata, who became as red as Kushina Uzumaki's hair.

Hinata fainted and died of happiness.

THE END


	2. Vengeful Naruto

Retarded Naruto Fanfiction Cliches

Naruto now has the dojutsu that makes him better than Hagoromo himself. He is just the walking embodiment of awesomeness, isn't he? But even with his super duper amazing powers, he still struggled against Sasuke, despite beating him with one finger a couple of months ago. I guess, the cursed seal is basically on par with the KamiShaRinnegan. Though, how the fuck was Naruto able to defeat the Sound Four in 1 move? And Kimimaro in 2 moves? Ah well, despite loathing of how Kishimoto handled cannon, you still have to follow it somehow, right?

Anyways, as Naruto brought Sasuke's broken body like a trophy in the streets of Konoha, he was intercepted by two ANBU Members.

"Uzumaki-san, your presence is requested by the Honorable council." said ANBU 1

"Why? I did nothing wrong? Besides, I'm so cool and awesome that everyone loves me... so nah, I ain't going." Naruto replied.

"You have to. This is of the utmost importance, you demon brat!" ANBU 2 said, apparently free from the effects of the NARUTO IS SO COOL Kool-Aid.

"Fine."

As Naruto entered the council room, with Sasuke's body seemingly missing as the author just forgot and wants to rush the chapter, he was greeted with jeers by the civilian council that somehow exists.

"Uzumaki Naruto, for injuring the Last Loyal Uchiha, you are hereby banished by the leaf." Danzo Shimura said as it is just something an opportunist like him would do to an incredible asset. "As for further punishment, we will not seal your chakra as we're born with IQ lower than 50 and know for sure that you would exact revenge on Konoha." Danzo added with conviction in his voice.

Tsunade, who is the strongest ninja in the leaf and has enough power to reverse the decision that was made behind her back said nothing because this is all for the brilliant plot made by our 12 year old friend, who is an aspiring fanfiction writer.

And so Naruto was banished from Konoha, with his chakra intact, the KamiShaRinnegan still in his eye sockets and only vengeance in mind. Now, he is headed to the Akatsuki hideout to join the group hellbent on hunting jinchuurikis like Naruto since it's the best thing to do if you're writing a Vengeful Naruto story. By the way, despite the spymaster Jiraiya not knowing where the Akatsuki is,which... therefore concludes that only Akatsuki members knew. Naruto was able to find it anyways.

"Konoha... I will burn you to the ground." An enraged Naruto said as he clenched his fist. What a way to start a vengeful Naruto story!

THE END


	3. Namikaze Neglected

Retarded Naruto Fanfiction Cliches

Young Namikaze Naruto watched in anger as Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina ignored him in favor of his sister Namikaze Naruko.

Everything just seemed to revolve around Naruko. Everyone even his pet toad adored his red haired sister like he never even existed at all. If any of them ever notice him at all, it will end up with him getting beat up and starved. Because neglecting and abusing their son is something that good and heroic people like Kushina and Minato will do. It's the only course of action that makes sense for the sake of the plot.

So Naruto has decided. After 6 years of abuse, he just got tired of this shit and is leaving the village. Though that would seem unlikely... like a 6 year old brat who is a slug compared the the elite shinobi could leave without getting noticed. But to be fair, nobody notices Naruto anyways, so he just got a free pass from the gate guards who were just sleeping.

A day had passed since Naruto left and many things have changed. Minato and Kushina were crying and depressed because they just realized what they did to their precious blond bundle of joy, Naruto. Kushina almost died by stabbing herself with a kunai but the godly Uzumaki vitality allowed her to live. Even then, she is a mess that cannot be repaired.

Minato then sent Kakashi and all trackers to find Naruto. Surely, it's easy to find and capture a six year old so it's a done deal right? Happy Namikaze family again? Well nope. Apparently, just 5 hours after he left, Naruto was empowered by Kaguya Otsutsuki, who is able to make contact with the child despite being literally sealed in the moon. Now, Naruto is really strong and is without equal despite being six.

Naruto waited for the group of ninja to approach him. Not caring since he is already super OP.

"Naruto, please come back to your family. They have been miserable for the 28 hours that you've been gone." Kakashi said.

"Miserable? Huh... serves them right. But anyways, this is goodbye, Kakashi." Naruto said and after he said those awesome words sped off in godlike speeds and killed all ninjas, including Kakashi since he is just that strong.

"Pathetic. I guess I'm too strong then. Thanks for this Kaguya-hime! I'll return this favor someday" The six year old said.

Kaguya just blushed profusely. How was that possible? Well, the six year old loner is apparently good in flirting. Kaguya then mustered the will to speak since those words said by the blond child cause her to mental block "You're welcome, Naruto-kun."

Though there is one question that remains... How the fuck was that able to make a woman blush profusely? Ah fuck, 12 year old writer strikes again.

THE END


	4. How to beat paperwork?

Retarded Naruto Fanfiction Cliches

Sarutobi Hiruzen is hailed as the professor, the God of Shinobi and is the strongest Hokage to have ever lived. He has beaten anyone he faced except for one entity that isn't even a shinobi, paperwork.

Paperwork was just the bane of Hiruzen's existence. The 69 year old man, despite the wisdom and intellect he attained through the years is incapable of realizing the importance of paperwork is in maintaining the stability of the village.

But anyways, we're getting off track. A 12 year old genin by the name of Uzumaki Naruto entered his office with his signature orange attire and is looking at Hiruzen in pity.

The miserable old man was whispering obscenities to a paper.

 _He must have lost his sanity_ Thought the blond, who couldn't help but sweatdrop (for fucks sake this is a written art not a fucking animated show) at the old man.

 _I wonder if I should tell him about the secret_ _to beating paperwork_ Naruto thought as he coughed to gain the Hokage's attention.

"What is it Naruto-kun?" said the tired Hokage

"I know the secret to beat the bane of the kages: Paperwork." Naruto said.

Hiruzen immediately rushed to the boy, shaking him so fast that Naruto got dizzy. "What is it my boy! TELL YOUR KAGE! TELL ME HOW TO BEAT PAPERWORK!" A desperate Hiruzen said as he released his hold on Naruto, who sighed in relief.

"Two words: Kage Bunshin" The helpful genin said, forming a cross with his hands before leaving.

Hiruzen, before casting the same technique had the need to pull out something from his desk. A paper somehow made by his student Jiraiya 20 years ago that said 'Bang head here.'

"BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA" Hiruzen cursed himself for being that stupid to not realize it sooner.

Irrelevant as it is, it is annoying that in 6 out of 10 fanfics, you can see this shit. If you're looking for comedy, this is one of the most worn out shit in the history of Naruto fanfiction. Oh and before I forget, somewhere outside of the hokage tower, a faggot with dark hair that looked like a chicken's ass fumed in anger. (Well, this is how the young aspiring writer described him.)

 _I should have been the one to have said that! THAT RIGHT ONLY BELONGED TO ME! AN ELITE UCHIHA!_ Thought the poor character who is written horribly by our 12 year old friends. This poor character is named Sasugay. How funny and original. Remember: Never forget to bash Sasuke every chance you get. You get that?

THE END


	5. The Incredibly Enormous Namikaze Estate

Retarded Naruto Fanfiction Cliches

After discovering he has an awesome lineage that cannot be matched by anyone alive, Naruto was just too giddy! Being the loud and hyperactive attention seeking idiot that he is, he can't wait to tell everyone his full name and see the shocked looks on their faces.

"Hi Uzumaki-san!" Sai greeted Naruto with his patented fake smile- ugh, fuck this cringe shit I had to write.

"Hello Sai! I no longer go by Naruto Uzumaki. My name is now Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze Senju Uchiha Hyuuga Otsutsuki Uvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemubwem Ossas." Naruto bragged because having a long name just rocks.

Sai just stood there in shock because the author wanted him to.

Naruto then walked across the village until he saw a massive mansion that is as big as the entire country of Russia. This is the fabled Namikaze Estate, the biggest house in the entire world. Fun fact, it is bigger than Iwa itself. How it managed to fit in Konoha? Well, it's the great idea our 12 year old friend came up with.

 _Wow_ Naruto thought in awe. Well of course, he now has a house that is so huge and AWESOME!

Naruto entered his humongous house and stared in awe at all the awesome shit that was there. There was 500,000 rooms, each with their own set of kitchen, bathroom, etc. It's painted with the finest paint in existence and bah screw it! Describing the awesome estate requires 10 Paragraphs, which is really necessary.

Oh and did I forget the Namikaze Estate has the biggest library in the world with the scroll of every jutsu in existence. At least, this is what Tsunade told Naruto.

"Wow! My dad is sooo cool! With all this jutsu's along with my KamiShaRinnegan, I'm going to beat the Sage of Six Paths in 5 moves! BELIEVE IT DATTEBAYOOO!" Naruto shouted in excitement and summoned 500,000 clones to read the entirety of books in the library.

After finishing every scrolls and books in the library. He entered what was supposed to be his own room. Naruto cried so hard. His parents loved him! They really did!

Naruto then noticed a couple of papers laying on his crib. He grabbed these papers and began to read. Apparently, this letters were from Minato and Kushina because they really have time to write letters to Naruto when they were fighting the Kyuubi. For the plot, I guess.

After that, Naruto was just so motivated. He is going to be the greatest ninja in existence and bang the finest bitches the world has to offer. He is Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze Senju Uchiha Hyuuga Otsutsuki Uvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemubwem Ossas and he will never break his nindo, BELIEVE IT DATTEBAYOOOOOOOOO!

Oh and Naruto realized once again that he hates Sakura. Fuck her. Fuck Sasugay- how original. And Fuck everyone who wants to stop him.


	6. The Kind and Friendly Kyūbi no Yōko

Retarded Naruto Fanfiction Cliches

The Kyūbi no Yōko is supposed to be a monstrous and untamed force of nature that wrecks havoc to everything in it's path. At least, that is what history books tell you. There is absolutely no chance that it will never EVER feel sympathy for a poor 8 year old blond kid, right? Well, you're WRONG.

The Kyūbi or Kurama as he was named by the Sage of Six Paths wanted to repent for his supposed sins- like it was it's fault that it was malice and hatred incarnate- and wanted to help little Naruto.

"Kit." said Kurama using the most cringe nickname it had to say in 50,000 stories to the kid. Apparently, it now treats Naruto like family and one of his own.

"Yes Kurama?" The 8 year old Uzumaki said.

"I'm sorry for everything." Kurama said because it makes sense for the very incarnation of malice and hatred to feel regret and guilt over causing harm to a single human.

"It's okay Kurama! I forgive you!" Naruto said and gave Kurama a thumbs up and a wide smile.

"No... I have to earn for forgiveness somehow, and I feel I have the perfect gift for you." Kurama said.

"What is it?" A giddy Naruto asked and then, he somehow found a way to sit on Kurama's head. It's interesting that an 8 year old kid isn't scared of a massive fox but that doesn't matter, that said fox is really friendly and kind.

"I will give you the finest dojutsu in existence, the KamiShaRinnegan!" Kurama's voice boomed in pride because it somehow made a dojutsu better than the one used to create him. But, ignore that shit. We need to give Naruto all the power he needs, so what better way to give it than using the mighty Kyūbi no Yōko to accomplish that.

"WOW! What does it do?!" Naruto asked, his eyes sparkling like stars. (Fuck it this is so cringe, but this has to be written this way, I'm sorry.)

"It does everything the Sharingan and the Rinnegan does... but 100 times better." Kurama said and Naruto jumped up and down on it's head shouting in joy.

 _5 Years Later_

5 years have passed since Naruto and the Kyūbi no Yōko, Kurama became friends and developed a bond beyond anything else in the world. Also, they came to know each other better, now knowing the tendencies, etc of the other.

For one, Naruto is actually smart, cold and calculating and has to use a mask to hide his skills for some reason. Then, Kurama is actually a perverted fox who constantly say perverted and sexual innuendos when Naruto meets with a hot woman. Also, Kurama likes to play matchmaker, especially with Naruto and that blue haired stalker Hinata.

Although this is so unrealistic, Kyuubi has to be a pervert and treat Naruto like family for the sake of the holy plot. Oh, and Naruto has an incredible chakra greater than Hagoromo and Kaguya combined due to the KamiShaRinnegan and the Kyuubi. With that shit going on, you've got to wonder, is Kurama the most powerful being in existence? Since for one, it was able to give the KamiShaRinnegan, which is apparently 50x better than Kaguya's Rinnesharingan and 100x better than the Rinnegan. But I guess those questions are pointless.

Kind and Nice Kyuubi and Unrealistically God-like Naruto for the win!

THE END


End file.
